[ he's... he's not supposed to react like that, she thinks as she all but wrings her hands. he's not supposed to look like he needs her. because he doesn't. not when everything's falling into place the way it should for him.
naomi slumps back into the bed, shoulders hunched and eyes closing as she whispers: ] I don't belong here, Raleigh.
[ she hangs her head. ] I... I don't belong with you. [ a broken off whisper. ]
[ it's not an angry retort. though it could be, if raleigh weren't so consumed by the idea that he could have yet another person he loves walk out on him. funny how someone who loves to be alone hates people leaving. that's ironic, right?
raleigh swallows hard and clenches his fists around the fabric of his pants, right by his knees. ] You're the best thing to happen to me since-- [ even with mako soothing some of the raging emptiness in his head, it's hard for raleigh spit it out. ] Since Yancy. You're all I've got.
[ all he's got that he didn't get through a drift. mako's important to him now. he's seen bits and pieces of her life and knows the way she thinks. but he doesn't--they're still going to have to figure each other out when all this is over. things with naomi are familiar, and warm, and settled. which is why this is so confusing and devastating.
how can she not belong with him if she's so much a part of him that her leaving feels like a chunk of himself will be missing? ]
[ naomi's never thought of herself as the selfish type. hungry, yes, for the world, for truth -- but that's different from selfishness.
but she's afraid that it's selfishness that tugs at her now, when she looks at him and feels like he is slipping from her fingers quicker than sand. there's a part of her that thinks: what if they never left the wall, what if she hadn't fought him over the hesitation to stay or go, hadn't taken his face between her palms and reminded him that no matter how far he thought he'd fallen, he had always been a hero. ]
You have all of this, [ she gestures up and around, but she means more than the room -- she means the corps, all those people who look at him and know all too well the depth of his legacy. who see what she did when others did not.
these are difficult things to say, but she says them anyway because if nothing else, they've always had honesty between them. ] You have Gipsy, and you have Mako and I have no place in that.
[ it hits her then, like a truck going at full speed on a highway: she is in love with raleigh becket. has been, since that first night they'd fallen into each other in her bed, perhaps further back when they'd reconnected as hesitant friends.
she breathes out a soft Oh God, and leans over, a hand covering her mouth. ]
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loccent2013-10-08 09:58 pm
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naomi slumps back into the bed, shoulders hunched and eyes closing as she whispers: ] I don't belong here, Raleigh.
[ she hangs her head. ] I... I don't belong with you. [ a broken off whisper. ]
no subject
[ it's not an angry retort. though it could be, if raleigh weren't so consumed by the idea that he could have yet another person he loves walk out on him. funny how someone who loves to be alone hates people leaving. that's ironic, right?
raleigh swallows hard and clenches his fists around the fabric of his pants, right by his knees. ] You're the best thing to happen to me since-- [ even with mako soothing some of the raging emptiness in his head, it's hard for raleigh spit it out. ] Since Yancy. You're all I've got.
[ all he's got that he didn't get through a drift. mako's important to him now. he's seen bits and pieces of her life and knows the way she thinks. but he doesn't--they're still going to have to figure each other out when all this is over. things with naomi are familiar, and warm, and settled. which is why this is so confusing and devastating.
how can she not belong with him if she's so much a part of him that her leaving feels like a chunk of himself will be missing? ]
no subject
but she's afraid that it's selfishness that tugs at her now, when she looks at him and feels like he is slipping from her fingers quicker than sand. there's a part of her that thinks: what if they never left the wall, what if she hadn't fought him over the hesitation to stay or go, hadn't taken his face between her palms and reminded him that no matter how far he thought he'd fallen, he had always been a hero. ]
You have all of this, [ she gestures up and around, but she means more than the room -- she means the corps, all those people who look at him and know all too well the depth of his legacy. who see what she did when others did not.
these are difficult things to say, but she says them anyway because if nothing else, they've always had honesty between them. ] You have Gipsy, and you have Mako and I have no place in that.
[ it hits her then, like a truck going at full speed on a highway: she is in love with raleigh becket. has been, since that first night they'd fallen into each other in her bed, perhaps further back when they'd reconnected as hesitant friends.
she breathes out a soft Oh God, and leans over, a hand covering her mouth. ]